Defining the Brides Role in the Bridal Shower

Originally, the bride’s role in the bridal shower was quite simple: according to legend, a well to do Dutch or Danish girl who fell in love with a poor miller’s apprentice was said to have become engaged to the young men against the wishes of her father. In an attempt to dissuade the couple from going through with their marriage plans, the father made it known that he would withhold the dowry, which was customarily used to help the young couple to set up their own household. The legend further states that the townspeople were so upset with the rich father, that they decided to take it upon themselves to equip the young people with the items they needed to being their lives together, and therefore held a bridal shower, where they showered the bride with gifts of household items, linens and other useful things. Obviously, times have changed and we no longer have dowries. Nonetheless, the tradition stuck, and we are now hosting bridal showers for any bride to be who is ready to walk down the isle, notwiths tanding her or her fiancé’s financial wherewithal.

Interestingly, the bride’s role in the bridal shower has not changed that much. She is still pretty much the passive participant while the bride’s maids and other female relatives take it upon themselves to plan and host the shower. All the bride really needs to do is to show up and accept the gifts! Of course, even being the recipient of the honoring is not without rules and regulations, and here are some tips on how to weather the stress of an upcoming shower with grace and how to make throwing your bridal shower a joy to your brides maids.

Allow your maid of honor access to your address book. This sounds simple, but how often do we think of letting someone else know whom we would like to see invited to a party? Since the maid of honor is probably a close friend of yours, she will know most of your friends already, but does she have their telephone numbers? Additionally, since she probably does not know everyone to whom you sent a wedding invitation, and since etiquette mavens suggest that it is proper to invite all the female guests to the bridal shower, it is important that she has access to the guest list and your address book to make sure nobody feels slighted. At the same time, since it is your brides’ maids and maid of honor who will be footing the bill for this event, do not insist on inviting everyone and anyone. If they would prefer -and can only afford- to only invite close friends, go along with a smile.

Stay out of the maid of honor’s way as much as possible. Sure, you probably have an opinion on everything from where to hold the shower to what games to play and how to word the invite. In one word: “don’t.” While your wedding may be the event of your dreams come true, your bridal shower is not, and while the hostess of the event may consult with you on your preferences, it is not mandatory, nor should you tell her how you want it done. This is a party that is thrown in your honor, and you are the guest of honor – not the party planner!

As the day of the shower arrives, please be sure to make your maid of honor’s job easy by taking an active role in mingling with the guests, speaking to each one for a bit, and interacting with all in a gracious manner. Yes, you will probably be nervous and a bit harried as the big day rapidly approaches, but this is not the time or the place to show it.

The week after the shower, be sure to sit down and write “thank you” notes to the shower guests who came, and also mention a sincere note of gratitude about the gifts they brought for your. At that time it would also be of great kindness to write some “thank you cards” to your bride’s maids and maid or honor for throwing this party for you.

Give the Gift of a Bridal Shower Theme Basket

Many bridal shower guests struggle with what to purchase the bride-to-be for her bridal party. Even if she is registered, it can be difficult to find the gift that seems “just right” to buy. One cute and irresistible idea for the bridal shower is to create a bridal shower theme basket. The possibilities are truly endless!

Understanding the Bridal Shower Theme Basket

A bridal shower theme basket is a combination of items that are related to each other in one way or another. The items can be useful or fun, serious or whimsical, romantic or funny, or they can be traditional or nontraditional. The bridal shower theme basket can be created in any way that reflects your feelings or personality, as well as those of the bride-to-be.

Destination Theme Baskets

If you know where the bride and groom will be heading for their honeymoon, consider putting together a destination theme basket. For example if the happy couple will be going to Hawaii for their honeymoon or even if they are having a Hawaiian-themed wedding, you can put together a Hawaii basket. In this basket, you can include items such as a Tiki bar handbook describing drinks and appetizers, Hawaiian scented candles, hula girl glasses, and Hawaiian skincare products such as moisturizers, scrub, and sunscreen.

Cooking Theme Baskets

If the bride-to-be loves to cook or needs a little encouragement in the department, you might want to consider a cooking theme basket. The possibilities for this sort of themed basket are quite varied. For instance, if she likes to cook on the grill, you might put together a theme basket containing barbeque spices, an apron, a master grill set, and gift certificates for meat. If she is a gourmet chef, provide her with a basket filled with a variety of herbs. Baking baskets filled with mixing bowls, whisks, and other baking supplies are also a great idea. Or, get more specific with an Italian basket. In this basket, you might include Italian herbs and seasoning, spaghetti sauce, dish towels, a pasta scooper, spaghetti noodles, and a strainer.

Romantic Baskets

Considering the bride-to-be will be soon embarking on one of the most magical and romantic nights of her life, you might want to help her along the way with a romantic basket. For example, create a basket with a bottle of champagne, two champagne glasses, and candles, a CD of romantic music, bath oils, bubble bath, and massage oils. You might even through in some lingerie or something naughty, depending on the group that will be attending the bridal shower. Or, create a basket for a night in the tub with washrags, towels, bubble bath, candles, and bath toys. Another fun “couples” basket is one set up for an evening together, containing a gift certificate for a movie rental, a gift certificate for pizza, microwave popcorn, theater candy, and soda.

Another romantic idea is a basket of candles. But, these aren’t just any ‘ole candles. These candles are specially selected – 12 candles for the first 12 months together. A white candle is for the night of the honeymoon, pink is for the first Valentine’s Day, green is for the first St. Patrick’s Day (for the luck of the Irish), purple is for the first Easter, red/white/blue is for the first 4th of July (to keep the “fireworks” alive), blue is for the first Veteran’s Day (this is particularly meaningful for a military wife), orange is for the first Thanksgiving, red is for the first Christmas, yellow is for the first New Year, burgundy is for the first company dinner, light blue is for the first fight, and cream is for the first anniversary.

Helpful Baskets

If you wish to go with a more practical, yet fun, approach, you might want to consider a basket of household supplies. In this case, the basket should be a laundry basket. The laundry basket should then be filled with helpful household items that you can never seem to have enough of, such as paper towels, tin foil, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and Ziploc bags. Or, create a basket of those little things you never think about until you need them, like pens, twist ties, light bulbs, toothpicks, gum, and dental floss.

Hobby Baskets

A basket consisting of items pertaining to the bride-to-be’s hobby is another great idea. If she likes sports, painting, photography, or scrapbooking, fill a basket with supplies typical to these hobbies. Or, maybe she would be interested in having her own tools to keep around the house. Whatever her hobby, there are bound to be an abundance of supplies you can purchase.

Miscellaneous Baskets

Other theme baskets you can create are ones centered on a certain time of day, such as a dinnertime basket, breakfast, or bedtime. Another great themed basket idea is to create a basket of “Everything you will need from A to Z.” With this basket, you purchase something for every letter of the alphabet (such as aluminum foil for A, bath soaps for B, etc.) and attach a note explaining the letter of the alphabet each one represents.

Timetable for a Bridal Shower: When to Plan and What Time to Party?

Planning a bridal shower can be a lot of work. So when should you begin? You can begin planning any time you would like. It all depends on how big the party is going to be, where your guests may be coming from, and if any reservations or special accommodations need to be made. As far as how much time to allow between the bridal shower and the wedding that can vary from a couple of months to two weeks before the big event. Another decision that is sometimes hard to choose is the time of day to have the party. There are many factors that help a hostess make all of these decisions.

Once you decide you are going to host a bridal shower you should decide how much time the planning will take. If you want to have the bridal shower at a location that is public, such as a restaurant or bar, you may need to start fairly early, as you will probably have to make reservations for a large group. Another factor is the food; if you are planning a formal meal you may want to start planning your menu and calling caterers right away. Planning an informal shower would definitely save you some time and you would not have to start planning so soon. Invitations should go out at least a month before the shower to allow guests to plan accordingly. Out of town guest should obviously be given more notice so they can make travel arrangements and reservations. The actual date of the party should never less than two months before the wedding. The last two months before a wedding is typically a full schedule for a bride-to-be, with dress fittings, last minute decisions and finalizing all plans.

A mid-morning shower is the perfect time for a brunch. It may be a great time of day for most, as a lot of people typically do not make plans in the early part of the day. If brunch is not something you want to do you could always host a mid-morning tea party. Both of these options can range from very formal to very casual, it all depends on what the hostess or bride may want. A mid-morning time is more suitable if the guests are all local, if out of town guests were to come they may have to stay the night before and that can be difficult when they will probably already be planning to travel to the wedding.

Early afternoon bridal showers are common. The hostess can serve a light lunch or ask guests to bring a dish to pass. Having the food catered is always an option too. Afternoon parties are great as they allow plenty of time for visiting and games. Also one must allow for gift opening. Having an afternoon tea party is always an option too. Hosting an afternoon party for a wine lover could include a wine tasting party with cheese, crackers and other finger foods.

If you would like to throw a more formal bridal shower an evening party would be a very nice choice. Having a sit down dinner party is a wonderful idea if including both the bride and groom. But it is also a great idea for a girl’s night out to have a formal meal among friends. Evening parties could also be focused solely on desserts and wine. What woman does not like an evening filled with chocolate, cheesecake and other delicious desserts.

Different twists on bridal showers are combining the bridal shower with the bachelorette party and maybe have a night at a casino and then a stay at a hotel. The night could be filled with gambling, dinner and maybe a show at the casino if offered. In the morning you could all have brunch and have the bridal shower and gift opening right at the hotel or a restaurant if you choose.

Throwing a bridal shower can take as much time or as little time and effort as you want to put into it. It all simply depends on how far and big you want to go. Also always consider the bride and groom and also the potential guests when choosing time and location of the bridal shower.

Who is Who on the Bridal Shower Guest List

When getting married, it can sometimes be difficult to understand the proper etiquette involved with many of the wedding functions. The bridal shower is no exception. Many brides-to-be are left uncertain of the proper procedures to follow when planning a bridal shower and who to invite. In addition, the proper role of different guests on the list can become confusing. With a few simple rules of thumb, however, you are guaranteed to have a memorable and proper bridal shower.

Who Hosts the Bridal Shower?

The maid or matron of honor, and never the bridesmaids, traditionally hosts the bridal shower. It is, however, acceptable for another close friend of either the bride or the groom to take on the responsibility. For the most part, it is considered unacceptable for a close relative of the bride, such as the mother or siblings, to throw a bridal shower. This is because it gives the appearance that the family is scouting for gifts. In some areas of the country, however, it is customary for a close relative to throw the bridal shower. In addition, if the bride does not have anyone else to throw the party for her, it may be acceptable for the mother or a sister to throw the party. The family members should, however, try to have as little involvement as possible. It is never considered acceptable for the bride to throw her own bridal shower.

Sometimes, the coworkers of a bride-to-be also decide to throw a bridal shower. A group of coworkers or just one coworker may host this shower. So far as etiquette is concerned, this is perfectly acceptable. Just be sure to limit the guest list to coworkers. Inviting friends and family to a bridal shower hosted by coworkers is tacky.

Who should be invited to the Bridal Shower?

You can invite whomever you want to your bridal shower. Your guest list should certainly include your mother, your future mother-in-law, and your maid or matron of honor. If the bride or the groom has a stepmother, she should also be invited. Traditionally, a bridal shower involves only women. But, co-ed bridal showers are gaining in popularity. This decision is one you will have to make when creating your guest list.

Typically, brides-to-be invite their immediate family members to attend their bridal showers. They also invite all of the female members of the bridal party, and the male members if the bridal shower is co-ed, and other close relatives. Close friends are also invited to the bridal shower. As a rule of thumb, only people who have been invited to the wedding itself should be invited to the bridal shower. It is uncouth to invite someone to the shower without also inviting him or her to the wedding as it implies you are only interested in receiving his or her gifts. You are not, however, expected to invite everyone who will be attending the wedding. Of course, bridal showers hosted by co-workers are the exception – you are not expected to invite you co-workers to your wedding, even if they do throw you a bridal shower.

If you are having a difficult time deciding who to invite to your bridal shower and who not to invite, take a look at your wedding guest list. First, eliminate all of the females with whom the bride does not know directly, such as the wives of male friends. Next, cross off people who were invited to the wedding simply because it is “proper,” but who are not close to the bride. This can include distant relatives or female friends of the bride-to-be’s parents.

What if there will be more than One Bridal Shower?

If you will be having more than one bridal shower, mothers, stepmothers, and female siblings on both sides, as well as the maid of honor, should be invited to every shower. None of these women, however, should be expected to provide a gift at each shower. In addition, the female siblings of the groom should have the option of choosing to attend only one of the showers. Any other guests should be only invited to one of the showers. If you do choose to invite someone to more than one shower, be sure to make it perfectly clear that the person is not expected to bring a gift each time.

Classic Bridal Shower Gifts NOT on the Bride - Registry

Classic gifts are always an easy choice to make when shopping for any occasion. The definition of a classic gift can be very different when relating to different individuals. Buying a classic bridal shower gift is sometimes difficult as the bridal shower gift is typically less expensive and extravagant than the gift you will give as a wedding gift. It is also hard to avoid buying something on the bride’s gift registry. A gift registry is meant more for the actual wedding rather than the bridal shower. This article will give you some ideas for classic bridal gifts that the bride to be probably does not have on her registry. When buying a bridal shower gift it can be simplified by deciding what category of gift you would like to purchase.

Household gifts are a timeless choice when it comes to bridal showers. A laundry basket filled with household cleaners wrapped in cellophane would be a wonderful gift for the bride to be that is moving to her own house for the first time. A similar gift would be a nice wicker basket filled with non-perishable foods that would be handy in case the bride and groom are short on time after the honeymoon. A recipe box with plenty of recipes for every occasion is another great clever, but yet classic, gift for a young couple just beginning their lives together. Bath towels and wash clothes may be on the registry but are still a great gift for most newlyweds. If you want to focus on the bride and want a gift to make her feel special you could get her a gift basket of bubble bath and other great smelling lotions and such. Christmas ornaments are another great classic gift that many people do not realize a newlywed couple would need. How many of celebrated our first Christmas with our new husband with some really beau tiful Christmas ornaments? Picture frames are another great classic gift that any newlywed could use. The picture frame could be geared towards the wedding theme or maybe the couples honeymoon trip or even their pet if they have one.

Clothing attire is also a classic choice; it can be just for the bride to be or for both the bride to be and the groom to be. Matching flannel pajamas for the couple would be a fun and yet practical wedding shower gift. Maybe get the bride to be flannel pajamas with the feet in them. If the couple lives in a warmer area of the world maybe you could buy them a gift of extra large beach towels. Beach towels would be a great idea as the couple would more than likely have a use for them on the honeymoon. A nice accompaniment to the beach towels could be a bottle of suntan lotion or sun block for that tropical honeymoon. A nice comfy bath robe would be another classic gift the bride to be would probably not think of for herself. Give her a nice bottle of luxurious bubble bath or bath beads with the robe. Slippers for the couple would be a cute and useful idea as well. Personalize then with monogram of the newlywed’s initials or simply “Mr.” and “Mrs.”

You could also choose to go with a more unique gift. A picnic basket with all the necessary dishes, wine glasses, napkins, checkered picnic blanket and utensils necessary for a romantic picnic would be a wonderful gift. You could get the couple a nice wine chiller with a nice bottle of wine. Board games such as Monopoly or Sorry would be a great classic gift that a newlywed couple would not think to register for.

Buying a bridal shower gift can be very fun and it should be. You do not have to give wash clothes and spoons. Not everyone needs pots and pans; make the gift fun and unique, but you can still keep it classic. Whether you go with a household gift, clothing, or something completely original the bride to be and groom to be will appreciate the effort. If you choose to use the bride’s gift registry maybe you could put your own unique touch the gift by wrapping it uniquely or having it personalized.